


I Don’t Care

by MakennaSweets1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean doesn’t get nailed, F/M, First Kiss, Fix-It, Jack Kline Saves Castiel from the Empty, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Misunderstandings, Temporary Character Death, dean Winchester is a mess without Cas, the characters deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29535921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967
Summary: “Cas” Dean repeats louder this time, loud enough to cut through the thunderstorm above them. Cas looks up barely but enough. Dean can see his bright blue eyes, unscored with redness as if he’s been crying… still crying. The tip of his nose is a bright shade of red. He looks beautiful is all Dean can think, as he strides over to the angel, cupping his hands around his face, “Is that really you Castiel?”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 74





	I Don’t Care

**Author's Note:**

> This is sorta a fix-it mostly based on this post I seen that was like what if when Cas came back they found him walking on the street because he would be afraid Dean wouldn’t want him in the bunker anymore after his confession. We are ignoring 15x20 basically, and I am using my own creative license to make 15x19 better. If there are inaccuracies to the ending sorry not sorry but I will never watch 15x19 or 15x20, no one can make me.

Darkness.

Nothingness.

Emptiness.

Everything is still, soundless, motionless, asleep in eternal nothing. The empty.

Castiel blinks, his eyes opening into familiar surroundings. That static nothingness that surrounds him, like he is floating, like he is nothing all at once. Just as before, he can’t even feel his vessel, nor his tendrils of grace. There is only the pull back to endless slumber. A growing roar, alerting Castiel to the shadow’s presence and growing anger for once again being awoken.

For a moment Cas remembers nothing. Seconds later it floods back to him, his angelic life, raising the righteous man, falling for him in more ways than one, his confession, and his deal. His death.

Castiel blinks again watching the empty goo ripple around him the shadow beginning to materialize. He has half a mind to return to his sleep before he can truly wake the shadow. The shadow was right before, there is nothing left for him back there, but he saved the world once again. That made it worth it. Now though there is truly nothing back there for him not after - he doesn’t need to hear that from a being wearing his vessels face.

The nothingness fades behind the shuddering of Castiel’s eye lids, a sleep dragging him back down. Like hands gripping his shoulders, his arms, his legs, pulling him down.

Before they can drag him back, before unconsciousness can take over his senses, the hands fall away. A blinding yellow light glows behind his eyelids. Castiel snaps his eyes open, the shadow stands as a glob of black goo, but that isn’t what grabs his eyes. A glowing figure appears a yellow light surrounding it. Two massive white wings stretching out engulfing the empty space.

“Jack?” Castiel gapes staring at his son. The light fades away, the boy floats, his eyes yellow, wings still flowing around him. A beacon of purity, innocence, a savior.

“Hello Cas” Jack exclaims happily, raising a hand as he always does.

Cas smiles at his son. A happy ache burning in his chest. Though Jack looks nearly the same as he always has, there are creases on his face as if he’s been through a lot, grown. Crinkles around his eyes, dark shadows beneath them, and a commanding presence. A newfound confidence which hadn’t been there before, with his child-like demeanor.

“I have come to save you” Jack says, a sad waver in his voice. Maybe there is something back there for Cas. His son.

“Jack…” Cas trails unsure of how to answer, the black goo of the shadow swirling closer. The shadow dredging closer, like its walking through sloppy mud. Cas eyes the shadow wearily, “Jack you shouldn’t be here, the deal –“

“The angel is right” The shadow sneers at Jack whose lips are tugged into a frown, arms crossed over his chest, “Casstiel is my property. He belongs here with me. Asleep! Asleep forever! We made a deal! The angel is mine!” The shadow screams through black goo, it’s presence ever daunting as it approaches Jack. A sinister expression covers the goo where a face would be.

Cas feels his heart quicken, leaping forwards to hold the shadow back from his son, he pleads, “Please Jack”

Jack shakes his head, “Castiel doesn’t belong here” he yells. Unfolding his arms from his chest in a quick motion pushing them out towards the shadow. A beam of power radiates from his outstretched hands, towards the shadow. Castiel steps back his hands letting go of the goo.

But not before the shadow screams “Nooo!” the shadow rips away at the blue grace, stealing every drop from Castiel. The shadow and his grace burn away, with the beam of Jack’s enhanced power.

Castiel collapses, clutching his chest, his grace no longer thrumming beneath his vessels skin. Beneath his skin. He is human.

“Dad” Jack grabs his father figure, hauling him up, Cas wraps an arm around Jacks shoulder, leaning heavily against him. He feels tired, weak, so entirely human.

“I am okay” Cas manages squeezing his eyes shut tight, and he is – or will be.

“uh” Jack gapes, Cas looks around. Floating everywhere in the nothingness, beings blink awakes from their slumber. Millions pushing themselves to their feet, stretching, yawning as far as the eye can see, or at least the human eye.

“Jack?” Castiel looks around with bewilderment, as the beings approach them.

Jack shrugs, with a sheepish smile something he clearly got from the Winchesters, “Side-effect of killing the shadow. It was the only thing keeping them angels and demons alike, asleep. We defeated god. I am god now. I need to help them.”

Castiel nods with a proud swell in his chest at his son, but with a worried expression, “The shadow it-it took my grace. I’m human now. I can’t help you.”

Jack smiles his eyes crinkling in the corners, “I didn’t come for your help I came to save you. Goodbye dad I will see you soon.”

Jack pushes Castiel’s shoulder, as he begins to open his mouth to ask what he means. With a huff, Cas falls to a hard ground, the nothingness fading away, till there is everything. Light, grass, dirt, happiness, pain, and warmth. An entire world around him. Cas is back, on earth he realizes.

Sunlight streams onto his face, basking the former angel in its warmth. Bugs hum around him nosily, as the grass scratches against his face. The rich aroma of the earthy dirt invades his nostrils. He pushes himself up to a sitting position, breathing in a gulp of crisp air into his lungs. His heavy trench coat suddenly feeling too hot for the summer day.

Castiel looks around at the field he landed in or more accurate the ditch beside a small road. A chipped old sign reads ‘Welcome to Junction city Kansas’. Cas recalls a case the brothers had here working with Garth a monster you had to get drunk to see. From the looks of what Cas could see of the broken-down town, it seemed fitting.

There was an old pickup truck down by the gas station a few feet away, though the building seemed conveniently vacant. The other few buildings around didn’t seem to have much activity either. Coming to a stand Cas shucked off his trench coat, relieving himself from the accumulating heat. He began to wonder how long he had been away, hours, days, months, years. He didn’t get to ask Jack about anything. All he knew was the world wasn’t ending. He shook his head still on autopilot, disorientated by the resurrection. The best idea would be to go to the bunker. Were the Winchesters even alive anymore – no he pushed that thought away - they must be.

Castiel heads towards the gas station his stomach rumbling, as he sees the vending machine out front. He frowns at his reflection in the vending machine, the feeling of hunger and thirst taking over. Luckily, he has a few dollars in his trench coat only enough for a water. He shoves the bill a few times before it stops spitting it back out at him. The bottle clinking down the machine and landing at the bottom with a loud thud. Picking it up he drains the bottle within seconds, looking forlorn at the singular quarter in his hand which isn’t enough for even the fifty cent Twinkie.

He sighs placing the quarter on the top of the machine, “For someone else” he whispers.

Then rounds the back of the gas station, hotwiring the abandon truck. With little suspicion he pulls out onto the road, bumbling along.

The rest of the town isn’t much prettier, most of the homes are small with paint peeling away at the edges and decorations; that Cas mostly thinks look like junk cover the front lawns. There are a few fast-food places which coat the air with a thick smell of fried food, only intensifying the hunger in Cas’s belly. With a sigh Cas pulls into a diner the barely lit neon sign reading ‘Stacey’s Restaurant’. He digs around in the truck, finding a few dollars shoved in various places, and a five.

“Welcome in son” a waitress greets from across a white counter, a few sliver stools with red cushions sitting in front of it.

Castiel nods with a quick thank you. Taking a seat in one of the booths that have the same red cushioning. He looks over the menu, deciding on the grilled cheese and a lemonade as it’s the only thing he can afford.

As it turns out it’s delicious. Despite not liking the fact that he has to eat again it is nice to taste not only molecules. To listen to the light music playing in the diner. To get his bearings on being alive once again as well as human. He thinks that he maybe likes grilled cheese better than either pbj’s or burgers.

“No problem babycakes” The waitress says after Cas thanks her for the meal a dollar tip left on the table, he feels a little bad but it’s all he has.

Just like that he is back on the road again, with enough gas he makes it to Lebanon before it runs out. By the time he does the sun has set casting the earth into darkness.

Cas walks along the road guided by the lamp posts and then by the moon light as he makes his way out of town to the hidden bunker. A light mist of rain has gathered by the time he reaches the doorway, clouds building for an impending downpour.

Castiel lifts his hand to the large metal bunker door, hand clasped in the form of a knuckle. Ready to knock, he hesitates.

It feels as if the air is being sucked from his air ways.

He studies the metal door. The bolts surrounding it’s exterior with a growing rust on them. Scrap pieces welded on parts of the door as if repairing holes in the metal. It makes Cas choke up, he forgot about the little things.

Forgot what it was like to be human, to be on earth really even.

The pad of his finger traces over a perfect thin slash warping the metal of the door. From where Dean had thrown an axe at a monster that had followed them home to the bunker after a case. There was still some dried djinn blood in the crevasse.

Dean.

His hand falls uselessly away from the door, as tears stinging his eyes. He doesn’t know what he was thinking coming back here. He cannot see the Winchesters – Dean. He can’t be a part of their lives after… he can’t be a part of Dean’s life. He can’t handle to see the disgust, rejection, probably anger from Dean all because… he thought that was the end.

Tucking his chin into his chest, Cas slips his trench coat back on, pulling it tightly around himself. Rain pounds on his back as he walks away from the bunker Down the barely lit road, away from the family that will no longer want him.

He thumbs at the mixtape in his trench coat, feeling… numb.

——

The yellow light from the fridge flickers, fighting to stay lit as Dean opens the door. Rummaging through the food that’s been basically fermenting in there for days, untouched. There is no beer left. Dean pulls out a slice of pie that Sammy bought yesterday bringing it to his nose. His lip curls with disgust as he takes a sniff, though his stomach rumbles. The fridge door slams loudly as the light gives out.

“Dean?” Sam asks looking at his brother from the kitchen doorway, “I know that-“

“I’m going to get a drink” Dean snaps cutting his brother off he doesn’t want to hear anymore speeches or be thrown another pitiful look. He has had enough the past five days. He just wants to get drunk and feel nothing.

Sam regards Dean with a calculating look, which he promptly ignores snatching the impala keys off the counter. Throwing on his jacket, the gaping hole in his chest expanding as he sees the bloody handprint on the side, “I don’t think that is a good idea Dean”

Dean snorts, taking large strides to the door. Only to be caught by his brothers’ hand on his shoulder, right where the handprint was. Anger flares in Dean’s chest, all he can see is red, “I don’t really give a shit.”

Sam raises both hands stepping back with an apologetic look.

“Listen Dean I just – Chuck is gone we are free. I know your best frien- um C- is gone but-“ Sam stumbles over his words, careful not to rage Dean, but he can’t even hear him. Not over the anger and pain thrumming in his eardrums.

Maybe he should be happy, should be glad that Chuck is gone that the world is saved. That Jack has got everything under control. He is glad, he is more than glad but “He’s gone! Sam, Cas is gone! And he isn’t coming back this time!”

Dean’s voice booms off the walls of the bunker, his voice breaking at the end. Sam just stares at him mouth opening and closing trying to find a way to comfort Dean. As if words could fix this pain. Tears build in his eyes, and his anger dies as Eileen steps into the room signing something to Sam a worried expression on her face.

“I’m going for a drink” Dean states, spinning back around the door slamming heavily behind him. Not bothering to see what Sam signs back.

He revs the engine of the impala with a huff, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. Sammy can’t understand he got Eileen back. He got to tell her I love you too. He got to kiss her. He got to hold her again. He gets to have his happy apple pie life. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how Cas saved him. He doesn’t know what it’s like knowing he’ll never see him again, not even in death. Sammy will never understand.

Taking a deep breath, Dean pushes all his thoughts away, staring blankly ahead at the road just outside the bunker’s garage door. He doesn’t turn on the radio. He just listens to the rain as the pelts of water splash on the windshield, and the engine rumbles. Dean just stares ahead with a frown on his face, and nothing in his eyes. Not once does he dare look at the rearview mirror, because he knows there is nothing – no one back there anymore. He suffocates, vision blurred and mind blank. He watches the road, the ditches, and nothing at all.

The impala’s tires screech to a halt, spinning slightly on the wet slick road. Dean scrambles out of the driver’s seat. Heart pounding rapidly in his chest, fear and hope. All spiking in his mind.

A dark-haired man walks shoulders hunched, along the side of the road, hands buried deep in the pockets of his trench coat. His body shakes each step he takes, the puddles of water splashing up around his feet.

“Cas” Dean calls not believing the sight in front of him. He blinks through the onslaught of rain pellets, and he is still there.

Castiel turns around, his lip worried between his teeth, he doesn’t look up. He stares intently down at the road beneath his feet. His shoulders seem to hunch even more if possible. His normally messy hair is plastered to his head drenched in the rain. The trench coat a shade darker. For a moment Dean just watches him, not breathing, just watching.

“Cas” Dean repeats louder this time, loud enough to cut through the thunderstorm above them. Cas looks up barely but enough. Dean can see his bright blue eyes, unscored with redness as if he’s been crying… still crying. The tip of his nose is a bright shade of red. He looks beautiful is all Dean can think, as he strides over to the angel, cupping his hands around his face, “Is that really you Castiel?”

When he says Yes, Dean can feel himself breath again. He feels alive again.

——

“Yes” Castiel whispers an ache searing in his chest. Dean can’t even say his nickname anymore. Even though his mind is yelling at him to stop. That this is only going to break his heart more, he lets Dean pull him into a hug. He relishes in the way Dean buries his head into his shoulder and feels the hot tears from his eyes. Cas hugs back just as tight, probably for the last time.

“What are you doing out here? How?” Dean begs though his voice is on edge he still doesn’t let the angel go, and Cas knows he has to let go.

Castiel screws his eyes shut tightly, feverishly letting go of the iron tight grasp he has on Dean’s back, he whispers “I am sorry.”

“What?” Dean asks pushing him back to look at his face, his arms still holding his shoulders. Cas watches as the hunter’s green-eyes flicker over his face searching. There is anger in his voice, his jaw set “What the hell are you talking about? What are you doing out here?”

Castiel flinches at the angry tone, gluing his eyes to the ground again. Dean reaches up and pushes a piece of his hair back. Fingers gently listing over his cold skin. Too gentle for the way he is yelling. Too gentle for the resentment in his voice. Cas doesn’t understand. The rain still pouring around them, the glow of the impala lights, illuminating them on the empty street. Cas repeats “I am sorry Dean. I should not have come back. I know you do not want me here. I know you probably hate me now that you… know.”

Castiel swallows thickly around the lump that’s built in his throat.

“You are right” Dean says simple. Cas lets out a strangled gasp, his heart shattering all over in his chest. He knew this was coming though. The hunter is too good for him, why would he feel the same, “I hate you. I hate that you made that deal. I hate that you came with me. I hate that you left. I hate that you said those three fucking words. I hate that you pushed me away. I hate that you left me with nothing. I hate that you didn’t even give me a chance to say anything. I hate that you saved me. That you saved the whole goddamn world, but you didn’t save yourself. I hate you because I so fucking in love with you, you stupid, stupid angel. I love you Cas.”

Cas snaps his eyes back up at Dean. The distance between them only inches apart. Their noses nearly brush with each heaving breath Dean takes; his cheeks coated in a red blush. Frozen in shock, the confession plays over and over in his mind. Dean just watches him with the complete opposite of what he expected, with affection and love. In that moment, all Cas can bring himself to say is “I am not an angel anymore.”

“I don’t care” Dean shakes his head, with an affectionate chuckle. Then he smashes their lips together. Cas lets his eyes fall shut, as the breath is knocked out of him. Dean’s lips are soft, cold. Salty and wet from the tears and the rain. But its perfect. The kiss is filled with warmth and pleading. Making up for all the years they lost, all the death they’ve suffered. Filled with all the love they have. Filled with everything.

When they fall apart it feels as if it has been years in that single moment, just them and their kisses in the middle of rain in the pouring rain.

So much for no ‘chick flick’ moments.

The two of them get back into the impala, and Dean doesn’t even care about the rain in his car. He doesn’t care about anything except the matching smiles on the former angel and his own face.

There is a lot to talk about. Questions he still wants answered. But right now, none of that matters.

Dean reaches across the bench seat placing a hand over Cas’s and intertwines their fingers the way he has longed to do for years. With a flutter in his chest, he looks back out at the road towards the bunker.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact I live in junction city that’s why Cas woke up there! This has been living in my head rent free since ✨the scene✨ I finally wrote it! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading! Let me know what you think or any criticism you have. Should I add to this? 
> 
> As always stay strong and keep fighting! - makennasweets


End file.
